The mantra ‘location, location, location’ often concerns buying a house, but some estate agents would do well to apply it to their photography.

Should one, for instance, locate the camera in front of a fossilised garden chair? An overflowing ashtray? An elderly relative hustling out of shot? Has thought been spared for the location of that dirty underwear? Those psychedelic curtains?

Out of touch with reality, less Rankin and more plain rank, some of the worst offenders should perhaps consider relocating to another industry. Luckily for us, they haven’t yet. The mystifying property photographs gathered here are an endless source of confusion, confusion, confusion, frustration, frustration, frustration and, perversely, satisfaction, satisfaction, satisfaction.

A collection of the most baffling, terrible property photos ever taken.

Not yet Bernard. Feeding time isn’t until 6.30pm.

Mankind’s confidence in the strength and versatility of kitchen roll is finally to be tested.

“So, thanks for applying for the role of Garden Chair of Solitude. It says here you have experience with patios?”

That’s one way to drown out the noise.

At 4 metres high, Titan is one of our largest and most impressive toilets.

2018 is already being described as the year home-made oversized pharmaceuticals really became a thing.

Blog idea: Reasons my fan is sad

Let’s be optimistic. Maybe it’s chocolate cookie dough.

Winning a year’s supply of mineral water didn’t bring the unending happiness the Erwitts had hoped for.










No idea how many channels we have. We lost the remote in 2009.












If a deer is decapitated in an empty house and there’s no-one there to hear it, does it make a sound?









This year, why not take some time to consider the unquestionable futility of existence?










Located just a short walk from literally the edge of the world.

Paranormal investigators release image of what they claim is a ghost having a bath.

In some cultures, a desire for privacy is seen as a sign of weakness.

It’s a tribute to my late wife, who used to dream of being a clumsily-drawn, questionably-shaped mermaid

Found the perfect venue for that long lunch we’ve been talking about.

Coincidentally, these are the same wild horses that won’t stop me redecorating the second I move in.

Cursed to sleep for 100 years, only a kiss from a handsome real estate agent would break the spell.

Maybe this year we should get Daisy that Little Miss Exorcist kit she’s been asking for.

“Honey, I found the ladder! It was in the fitness studio that we also use as a utility room and study where we keep the musical instruments.”

Rex knew he only had 2 hours to stitch reality back together again before his owners got home.

Elderly men in their underpants require a well ventilated space and regular watering.

Meet the asking price and exchange within 2 weeks or the cat gets it.

“Thank god you came! I’ve been in here for weeks. They never even let me out into the yard anymore”

This is fine, just as long as nobody has squeezed my toothpaste in the middle.

The interior of the Millennium Falcon was something of a disappointment.

“Okaaay, thanks for coming everyone. First item on the agenda: Timmy’s birthday party – what went well / areas for improvement…”

The Andersons were so proud of Emily’s Year 4 scores, they had her stuffed.

Classifieds: Bovine scarecrow dressed as middle-aged woman looking for bovine scarecrow dressed as middle-aged man for fun times and maybe more 😉

The basement from which Alberto ‘Il Bambino’ Veccarelli ran his feared and brutal criminal empire.

The quality of National Geographic’s wildlife output seems to have deteriorated.

Homes comes complete with a brand new, 52″ flatscreen window.

Finally it was moving day, and Donna couldn’t have been more excited.


Reminds me of the traditional Armenian blessing: ‘May your crappy table always boast yellow carrots.’


Just as it had the great Mayan cities of Tikal and Calakmul, nature slowly reclaimed the Wilsons’ dining room.


Of the possible explanations available, very few have a happy ending.

tumblr_on4rveSlsZ1rrqskho1_1280Some Like It Horrible.

tumblr_on0ot7n41N1rrqskho1_1280Dinner will be served in the garage, after which you’re welcome to join us in the shed for drinks.


In Greek mythology, Actaeon was transformed into a stag and condemned to live forever as a tasteless wall covering.


So it turns out the apocalypse already happened, but it was confined to this bathroom.

Terrible property photos

I think it’s too late for just air freshener. That looks quite established

Terrible property photos

Lucy often thought back to her old bedroom, where she spent the happiest years of her life.

Terrible property photosAn interesting alternative to coffee and cigars.

Terrible property photos

Here’s a cross-eyed bedroom: the colour of evil.

Terrible property photos“Oh Marv, I’ve never loved a sofa like I love you. Say you feel the same?”

Terrible property photos

No caption would do this listing justice. Check it out here.

Terrible property photos

Before you tell him to tidy his room, maybe draw up some sort of project plan.

Terrible property photos

Whether it’s high or drunk, there’s absolutely no excuse.

Terrible property photos

Recently added features include dead skin, hair and unidentified sediment…


The Garden Chairs of Solitude Support Center has been running for 2 years now, providing abandoned plastic furniture with shelter and advice.

Terrible property photos

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