The mantra ‘location, location, location’ often concerns buying a house, but some estate agents would do well to apply it to their photography. Should one, for instance, locate the camera in front of a fossilised garden chair? An overflowing ash tray? An elderly relative hustling out of shot? Has thought been spared for the location of that dirty underwear? Those psychedelic curtains?

Out of touch with reality, less Rankin and more plain rank, some of the worst offenders should perhaps consider relocating to another industry. Luckily for us, they haven’t yet. The mystifying property photographs gathered here are an endless source of confusion, confusion, confusion, frustration, frustration, frustration and, perversely, satisfaction, satisfaction, satisfaction.

A collection of the most baffling, terrible property photos ever taken.

This is fine, just as long as nobody has squeezed my toothpaste in the middle.

The interior of the Millennium Falcon was something of a disappointment.

“Okaaay, thanks for coming everyone. First item on the agenda: Timmy’s birthday party – what went well / areas for improvement…”

The Andersons were so proud of Emily’s Year 4 scores, they had her stuffed.

Classifieds: Bovine scarecrow dressed as middle-aged woman looking for bovine scarecrow dressed as middle-aged man for fun times and maybe more 😉

The basement from which Alberto ‘Il Bambino’ Veccarelli ran his feared and brutal criminal empire.

The quality of National Geographic’s wildlife output seems to have deteriorated.

Homes comes complete with a brand new, 52″ flatscreen window.

Finally it was moving day, and Donna couldn’t have been more excited.

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Reminds me of the traditional Armenian blessing: ‘May your crappy table always boast yellow carrots.’

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Just as it had the great Mayan cities of Tikal and Calakmul, nature slowly reclaimed the Wilsons’ dining room.

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Of the possible explanations available, very few have a happy ending.

tumblr_on4rveSlsZ1rrqskho1_1280Some Like It Horrible.

tumblr_on0ot7n41N1rrqskho1_1280Dinner will be served in the garage, after which you’re welcome to join us in the shed for drinks.

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In Greek mythology, Actaeon was transformed into a stag and condemned to live forever as a tasteless wall covering.

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So it turns out the apocalypse already happened, but it was confined to this bathroom.

Terrible property photos

I think it’s too late for just air freshener. That looks quite established

Terrible property photos

Lucy often thought back to her old bedroom, where she spent the happiest years of her life.

Terrible property photosAn interesting alternative to coffee and cigars.

Terrible property photos

Here’s a cross-eyed bedroom: the colour of evil.

Terrible property photos“Oh Marv, I’ve never loved a sofa like I love you. Say you feel the same?”

Terrible property photos

No caption would do this listing justice. Check it out here.

Terrible property photos

Before you tell him to tidy his room, maybe draw up some sort of project plan.

Terrible property photos

Whether it’s high or drunk, there’s absolutely no excuse.

Terrible property photos

Recently added features include dead skin, hair and unidentified sediment…

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The Garden Chairs of Solitude Support Center has been running for 2 years now, providing abandoned plastic furniture with shelter and advice.

Terrible property photos

After the Great Plague of 1665, came the less famous Bubonic Bedroom Blight of 1704.

Terrible property photos

“Bastards didn’t even leave a forwarding address“ said Pooh.

Terrible property photos

Horrible feeling that’s the current owner dressed as his Mum.

Terrible property photos

And in the bedroom we went for fabrics so bright you can see them with your eyes closed.

Terrible property photos

Soon after completing the Sistine Chapel, the quality of Michelangelo’s work rapidly declined.

Terrible property photos

“Have you come to save us, or to join us?“

Terrible property photos

Now, if you’d like to take a seat by the pool, I’ve made some broccoli soup.

Terrible property photos“I think I’m beginning to see a pattern“ said Holmes.

Photos cross-promoted from TerribleRealEstateAgentPhotos.com

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