When you’re in the property management space long enough, you ‘hear them all’ – and then some!

Guest post – Inspired Growth Training

Inspired Growth Training ran a competition on its Facebook page asking for responses to the best one-liners in PM and gathered some great responses. Which is your favourite?

“I paid rent yesterday but I really need $150 back as I need money. I’ll come to your office so have the money ready for me straight away.”
~Kylie Moss

Tenant: “I’m sick of being harassed about paying rent on time. At the end of our lease, we will be evacuating.”
~Amanda Bowes

When I reminded a lovely tenant I had about an inspection and he came back with this:
“Thanks, Sarah. I’ll dismantle the Methamphetamine laboratory now in anticipation of the inspection! Cheers, Ben”
~Sarah Healey

“I know you won’t let me in with a rum and coke so I brought one for you as well.” – Tenant at an Open Home carrying tinnies of rum and coke.
~Kathryn Fry

Tenant: “Can we move in a week earlier and come for the keys on the 9th instead of the 16th?” -No problems, change the lease start dates and the rent paid to dates.”
Tenant 2 days later: “I don’t want to start the lease and pay the rent from the 9th; I just want to collect the keys so we can start moving stuff in, I still want the lease to start on the 16th.”
~Lisa Bennett

Me: You have a cat inside at your property.
Tenant: How do you know?
Me: We have driven past and seen it in the window.
Tenant: It’s a statue.
~Melanie Martens

From an owner: “Can you ask the vacating tenant to leave the power on? We need it on for renovations.”
~Bridget Phillips

At a re-inspection and the house smelled like marijuana. I openly asked the tenant if they had been smoking inside of the property: “No, it’s incense”.
~Kim Lowe

Monday – called tenant: “You’re 15 days behind in rent, what’s going on?” Excuse, excuses.
Thursday – called the same tenant: “You’re 18 days behind in rent and you didn’t pay like you said you would.”
Tenant: “What? This isn’t fair, on Monday you said I was 15 days behind, how can I now be 18 days?!”
~Sandra Paul

Tenant: “My light isn’t working.”
Me: “Did you change the light bulb?”
Tenant: “I don’t understand.”
Me: “Did you change the light bulb?”
Tenant: “How would I know how to that?”
~Kyle Dwyer

“I’m going on holidays and won’t be actually living in the property for a month so do I still have to pay rent?”
~Natalie Abbott

“So you don’t get up on the roof during routines to see if gutters are full?” – Owner
~Laura Levisohn

“You don’t understand what it’s like to be hot – you don’t have children” (A tenant’s plea for air conditioning).
~Fiona Bryant-Smith

Tenant: “We want a Hills Hoist washing line.”
Me: “No, you have a wall mounted washing line. The owner hates the look of Hills Hoists in the middle of yards and she won’t install one as they’re ugly.”
Tenant: “But we’re the tenants – don’t you have to do what WE want?”
~Rachael Jenkins